EXPLORE THE WORLD OF BLONDIE’S NEW YORK BY walking in their footsteps either in person or virtually on your walking pad/treadmill.

Blondie Walk Route

1. Trash and Vaudeville (96 East 7th St)
   A favourite clothing store for Debbie Harry and Chris Stein.

2. CBGB (315 Bowery at Bleecker St)
   Blondie was a regular here, sharing the stage with The Ramones and Talking Heads.

3. Debbie Harry’s Former Apartments (East Village)
   Debbie lived in apartments on East 2nd Street and Thompson Street.

4. The Bowery Ballroom (6 Delancey Street)
   A short walk from the Bowery. Debbie has appeared solo there numerous times.

If you don’t want to walk on your own you can book a group tour with East Village Rock and Roll Tour Rock Junket Tours and Walk on the Wild Side Tours NYC.

Or if you prefer, you can listen to Chris Stein’s acclaimed bestselling autobiography, Under A Rock while you walk.

You can immerse yourself in the sound of Blondie, by picking up the playlist below while you walk.

And if you are walking from home, on your walking pad/treadmill, there are some great YouTube videos like the one below.

Spend 51 minutes walking like Debbie and Chris in New York.

WHEN I THINK OF SUNSET BOULEVARD, MY MIND immediately goes to the film or the musical. I still remember seeing the musical version in London with my mum starring Elaine Page and John Barrowman. However, here we’re looking at it as number 9 on the Daily Telegraph’s list of the world’s best street walks. And what I love about it, is that it really is the way to really see LA.

Walking Sunset Boulevard is not for the faint-hearted, because it is in fact over 22 miles long running from Downtown LA to the Pacific Coast Highway. It’s quite a walk - maybe our longest street walk, so you might want to break it down. But, in its entirety it does give you all the layers LA has to offer.

We begin in the historic, working-class roots of the city, hike through the gritty hustle of Hollywood, pass the peak of commercial wealth and celebrity in Beverly Hills, and end at the Ocean.

Sunset Boulevard begins in the Eastside, a cool, hipster vibe, full of historic brick buildings, street art, independent coffee shops and steep hills. It runs from Downtown/Chinatown through Echo Park - known for Echo Park Lake and famous taco eatery Guisados.

We next overlap into Hollywood, with those all so familiar palm trees, historic studio lots and old school industry haunts - such as Marquis hotel and the famous Musso & Frank Grill. There are plenty of tourist spots to be found here.

Perhaps the most famous part of the street is next - Sunset Strip (West Hollywood), a mile and a half stretch which is the heart of rock-and-roll history. Here you’ll find iconic venues like The Roxy and famous hotel, Chateau Marmont. It’s like walking a film set, it’s so familiar. As you continue to the Westside and The Canyons - Beverly Hills to Bell Air, the boulevard becomes a tree-lined road with massive estate walls and the entrances to famous canyons - Benedict and Laurel. Here you can visit the Getty Villa, a wonderful museum which overlooks the pacific ocean.

Having walked past all the many faces of LA, you find yourself on the final stretch, the Pacific Palisades to the coast - where city gives way to ocean. And if you want to enjoy that from the comfort of your walking pad/treadmill, then there are plenty of YouTube videos such as this from People Watching.

Good To Know

• It wasn’t always such a place of glamour and fame. Sunset Boulevard originally evolved from a 1780s cattle trail used to herd livestock.

• There’s a part of this walk where you need to be very careful: a sharp curve just north of UCLA’s Drake Stadium which famously became known as Dead Man's Curve. It was immortalised in the 1964 hit song by Jan and Dean.

• Sunset Strip - its most famous part - stems from a legal loophole in the 1920s. During prohibition, gambling and alcohol were strictly illegal inside Los Angeles city limits. However, it fell outside the jurisdiction of the aggressive LA Police Department. Mobsters opened speakeasies, casinos, and nightclubs here, creating a playground of forbidden fun.

• The road doesn't just go by one name. As it flows from east to west, it begins as Cesar Chavez Avenue in downtown, transitions to Sunset Boulevard, and finishes as the Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu.

• he 1950 film noir classic Sunset Boulevard originated from director Billy Wilder's fascination with the forgotten, decaying mansions of 1920s Hollywood and the silent-era stars who lived in isolation inside them.

IF YOU HAVE ANY KIND OF SOCIAL LIFE, SOONER or later you’re going to fail at the daily 1200 calories diet (and that includes burning off 200 calories a day with a one hour walk).

This week I accidentally did the 5:2 Diet, which as I’m sure you know consists of five days of healthy eating (the usual boring vegetables, fruit and fish) and 48 hours on a crazy 500 calories per day.

It’s also known as intermittent fasting. Or The Fast Diet.

You can separate the 500 calorie days so it’s not too agonising.

Basically, I went down to 74kg, put on 1kg because of my social life, then panicked and did two days of 500 calories each.

I managed to do it without lentils, beans, quinoa, brown rice, tofu and other ingredients beloved of cyclists with beards and man buns.

Low, Low Calorie Food

Basically I just drank chicken noodle soup for two days. Your base is the first bit (340 calories) and then add whatever vegetables you want from the other list, to the value of 160 calories. Microwave, steam, air fry or water-fry everything. Yes you can have salt and pepper (exciting). You can also have a bit of ginger, chilli and/or garlic.

Two packets of Konjac* noodles – 40 calories
One cup of chicken breast meat (no skin) – 260 calories
One cup of chicken bone broth – 40 calories

*Also known as miracle noodles, shirataki or slim noodles.

Choose from -

One cup of mushrooms – 20 calories
One cup of pumpkin – 30 calories
One cup of tomatoes – 30 calories
One cup of asparagus – 30 calories
One cup of onion – 50 calories
One cup of broccoli – 30 calories
One cup of choy sum or bok choy – 20 calories

Fun fact: when you go back to your normal Fat Cow dieting, the inclusion of fake chocolate cake bars for elevenses and diet strawberry jelly (with real berries) for pudding makes the rest of your week seem like a massive luxury. Even though you’re still doing 1200 calories a day.

This Week’s Walk

This week’s favourite walk was in Brazil. Virtually, of course.

Looking Better in Photos

I had a couple of photos sent to me this week, one from the family (the usual group shot where I look bigger than the rest of them) and one from a friend.

It’s working. Going from 85 kg to 74/75kg (even with that one kilogram wobble) has resulted in my looking…considerably smaller.

It’s almost worth knocking back noodle soup for two days.

Flab Jabs and Food Noise – From a Neuroscientist

As you know I’ve been on Ozempic or the other one, Wegovy, since January. In this time, feeling peckish/feeling obsessive about the fridge - is a thing of the past, as you know.

Professor Sophie Scott, a neuroscientist, had tried everything. She was still a fat cow (my words) and weighed 17 stone, which is about 107 kg.

She thinks some women have different ‘full feeling’ hormones to others. She was always hungry. Now she isn’t.

Brain Space Back

“I feel that I have all this brain space back. I’m not worried about what I’m going to eat for lunch or dinner. That’s joyful – a whole source of anxiety that’s gone,” she told The Daily Telegraph.

She’s gone off toast. She’s having rice cakes for breakfast instead (Fat Cow has Corn Thins as you know; about 20 calories each).

Interestingly, the professor was a fatso vegetarian. Now, she looks amazing (we do like before-and-after photographs). Even her feet are smaller!

The jabs are expensive, as one reader pointed out – but then he went through all his food and alcohol receipts and realised the amount he’s saving every month leaves him in profit, despite the cost of buying Mounjaro. I concur.

Fake Lemon Pasta With Basil

Two packets Konjac noodles (60 calories), stir fried in hot water and a tablespoon of Chicken Bone Broth (6 calories). Add grated peel of two lemons (50 calories) and one grated garlic clove (4 calories). Pour into bowl and add 10 tablespoons of torn basil leaves (5 calories) salt and pepper to taste and two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese (40 calories).

165 calories. Now you can have a fake Margarita.

Fake Margarita

Squeeze the lemon juice from the two lemons into a glass (25 calories) and add four tablespoons of vodka (100 calories). Throw in some salt, add diet lemonade (0 calories) and ice cubes.

More next week!

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.

WE WROTE A POST ABOUT STEP COUNT A WHILE BACK BUT it’s such a hot topic, with UK newspaper The Daily Telegraph publishing an article last week supporting the idea that we don’t need 10,000 steps. In the article, they suggest that 7000 is enough for health benefits and even as few as 4000 steps can help improve life expectancy.

This is backed by science, and this paper published in The Lancet explains it well. Yes, if you want to lose weight, more steps can help but to keep healthy you don’t need to try to hit that 10,000 step mark every day.

So, where did this number come from? It’s actually quite a quirky story. Before the 1964 Tokyo Olympics, a Japanese pedometer maker adopted it as a marketing plan. The pedometer was called Manpo-kei, which means 10,000. Hence the 10,000 step a day goal was born.

That 10,000 golden number has been adopted widely today. But, there are debates about it. This article by Nuffield Health also explores this. Maybe the moral of these stories is that setting your goal is more about your personal needs and aims rather than being told by your smartwatch to keep going until you hit their goal!

All Walking Works - Here’s Why

The Lancet has the most recent proof of the benefits of walking.

• Physical health. Lowers risk of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, and even some cancers.

• Mental Health. Reduces anxiety, depression, and boosts mood and self-esteem.

• Weight loss/ maintenance. Burns calories, boosts metabolism, and helps stop weight regain.

• Living longer. A higher step count has been linked to a lower mortality risk.

10,000 Steps is Over 90 Minutes

Let’s break down the 10,000 daily steps recommendation.

It’s about 4 - 5 miles or 8km of continuous walking. If you did this in one go it equates to roughly 1 hour and 40 minutes. Which doesn’t sound so bad, especially as it can be broken up in a way that suits you throughout the day. But - it’s not necessary.

Try 7000 Steps

10,000 steps isn’t feasible for all of us. We can’t all do up to 100 minutes daily.

In fact, 7000 steps a day (about 60-90 minutes) is all you need, according to JAMA.

The most important thing is that you move in a way that fits into your day and keeps you healthy. This BBC YouTube video is great in giving advice about how to fit steps and movement into your daily life without hitting the made-up figure of 10,000.

A great way to increase your step count, especially if you are starting out, is to join a challenge like this one.

STRAIGHT STREET, IN THE OLD CITY OF DAMASCUS, SYRIA is number eight in the Daily Telegraph’s list of world’s best street walks. Perhaps not an obvious travel choice, this street has historical as well as religious connotations. Originally known as Via Recta, it’s the ancient east-west Roman road, famous in Christian tradition. It’s the oldest continuously functioning Roman road in the world - stretching for over a mile it has been walked for over three thousand years.

It isn’t a street that looks particularly old and neither is it straight anymore, but imagine, it has outlived empires, crusades, and the rise and fall of entire worlds. It has strong Christian connections; it was mentioned explicitly in the New Testament (Acts 9:11) as the place where the Paul the Apostle was healed of his blindness.

Walking East to West, you first get to The East Gate (Bab Shariqi). It’s the only remaining Roman gate in the city. This leads to the Souks - covered markets where you can inhale the small of fresh spices and find the famous Damascus silk. Also, branching off Straight street are the Hidden Alleys - labyrinths leading to hidden Roman columns, ancient churches, and traditional courtyard homes.

There are various ways to navigate the layers of Roman, Byzantine, and Islamic history of Straight Street. For example Civitatis offers guided walking tours. However, it is more likely that you will explore from home on your walking pad /treadmill, and there are a number of Youtube videos to choose from such as this one from Austin Davis Vlogs.

Good To Know

• During the Roman Empire, this wasn't just a road; it was a massive, ceremonial highway designed to show off the wealth and power of Rome.

• When the Greek architect Hippodamus originally laid out the street it was a perfectly straight, lined with majestic columns. However, over thousands of years he street has narrowed considerably and now it’s a bit bendy!

• It acts as a historical and cultural boundary line within the walled Old City of Damascus. As you walk from the East Gate, the labyrinth of alleys branching off to your right leads into the traditional Christian Quarter (Bab Tuma), while the alleys branching off to your left lead into the historic Jewish Quarter (Harat al-Yahud).

• The massive, vaulted iron ceiling covering the Souks was installed during the late Ottoman era to protect merchants and shoppers from the intense Syrian sun.

• When American author Mark Twain visited Damascus in 1867, he walked Straight Street and was definitely amused by its name. In his travel book The Innocents Abroad, he wrote: “The street called Straight is straighter than a corkscrew, but not as straight as a rainbow. St. Luke is careful to notice the direction of the street, which leads me to believe that he never saw it himself.”

  
  

  

Obese, Overweight, Nearly Normal

BY A MIRACLE, I LOST 2KG IN ONE WEEK and when I weighed myself this morning I was 73kg. If I keep going at that rate I will be normal weight in 2 weeks. Fat Cow had a little dance around the bathroom to celebrate, clicking her hooves in the air.

I began this walking/diet thing in January at 168 cm tall (that hasn’t changed) weighing a whopping 85kg. I’ve gone from technically obese, to overweight in four months and soon - at 70kg - the medical profession tells me I’ll be normal.

That would be a first. Normal? Really?

Oh sure, my BMI (Body Mass Index) should be between 53kg and 70kg, but I’m taking 70kg. I really long to be out of here in 2-3 weeks.

Mind You…

So great is my fear of putting it all back on again, the Corn Thins and Konjac are staying in the kitchen. Bread and spaghetti remain banned (except for the thrill of a Italian restaurant now and then). When I have my Oscars-style acceptance speech for losing 15kg, I will start with the phrase, “I’d like to thank flab jabs, Corn Thins and Konjac.”

Maybe with diet jelly and strawberries standing to my left.

This Week’s Favourite Walks

I’m walking indoors for 90 minutes, split into two 45 minute sessions over two days, watching Blithe Spirit with Margaret Rutherford. Directed by David Lean. And yes, I could watch it again.

Two Glasses of Red Wine a Day

And I quite like studies which back women who drink two glasses of red wine every day. Like this one. The kicker is – you need to be eating a Mediterranean Diet at the same time. Fish, fish, fish.

Singapore Noodles Under 400 Calories

This actually works.

In fact Olive Magazine is a bit of a goldmine for lunch or supper 400 calories or under.

You could even make friends with the dreaded tofu once you’ve tried this.

And Walking Speeds Up Fat Burning…

More good news to end the week if you’ve been traipsing around for an hour every day. Science says, it helps you burn off flab faster.

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.

I HAD A MAJOR VICTORY THIS WEEK WHEN I managed to get into a size 10 Brooks Brothers jacket. It was waiting in a charity shop; almost new. Normally I would bypass anything under size 14, but I risked it. It worked. Yes, I know it’s a UK size 14, but psychologically, seeing 10 on the label felt like a win. Also, it was a quarter of the Ebay price.

Straight after this, the friend who repeatedly destroys my diet – did it again.

Spaghetti Bolognaise Wipeout

I know what you’re going to say. Have one of those embarrassing ‘assertiveness’ polite conversations. ‘I need to tell you how I feel when you insist on going to Italian pizza or pasta places for dinner.’

I have a male friend who wipes out my diet every time. He’s a pushy big eater. Fat Cow has made a decision to make excuses to avoid restaurants until she’s lost the pesky last five kilograms. This week I had a spaghetti bolognaise wipeout followed by two of his home-made, sugar-laden cocktails. All that hard work having Corn Thins for breakfast, gone.

This Week’s Walk

This week I walked (a lot) in the real world, trying to get rid of that kilo. I also tried this at home. An enjoyable fast stroll in Copenhagen.

Stir Fried Noodles and Vegetables

You can leave the sound turned down for this one and just read the subtitles for ingredients and directions. As one packet of Konjac or Miracle or Shirataki (take your pick) noodles is so low in calories, you can pick and choose the other ingredients. I added a cup of prawn/shrimp which took me to 400 calories for dinner. I used way less oil.

That’s all for this week. See you next week in the Size 10 Brooks Brothers blazer. Americans have the right idea, vanity-sizing clothes!

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.

WALKING IS THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING, AND THIS WEEK we’re looking at another way of walking - the Sound Walk. While most of us listen to a podcast or a playlist while we’re taking our strolls, listening to the environment or plugging into environmental sounds can enhance your walk and help with your mental health.

Think of a Sound Walk as a form of walking meditation which offers both physical and mental benefits. It’s not new, the phrase was first used by the World Soundscape Project in the late 1960s and early 1970s. The idea is that you walk through whatever environment you are in with your ears ‘wide open.’ Instead of drowning out any background noise you encounter, you listen and notice all the sounds. The layers of this were broken down as such:

• Keynotes - the constant sounds, i.e. traffic or wind.

• The sound signals - foreground sounds, such as birdsong or a church bell.

• The soundmarks - these are unique noises that only exist in a specific location - like an echo in a tunnel.

Research shows a sound walk is a workout for your nervous system it aids mental wellbeing and can even lessen stress. The main benefits include a lowering of heart rate and cortisol levels. It is said to be more effective than listening to music while walking and moves you from a state of ‘doing’ into a state of ‘being.’ It also forces your brain to map your environment using your ears, thus strengthening the temporal lobe. This helps you become a more mindful mover. It calms your brain because you are not trying to constantly process information.

Chad Crouch’s Substack has a number of Sound walks that you can listen to, to help you get accustomed to walking in this way. You can listen to the environment around you, or you can take a sound walk by downloading one. This is a very good way to train your ears.

If you are going to do it yourself, here are a few tips. Have at least five minutes in total silence, no phone or talking. Try to listen to the furthest sound you can hear (traffic or a plane perhaps), and then pull your ears to the nearest sound (your own breath for example). Try to learn to alternate between these. You can also try to identify sounds that you normally take for granted. Hear how wind sounds different in different trees. How many different birdsongs can you hear? Focus more closely on these sounds.

You can use Chad’s Substack, or try a sound walk app like this one which turns physical locations into sonic environments. There is a guide by Hildegard Westerkamp the ‘mother’ of Sound Walking, which will help you to get started. Or of course you can try out a sound walk from your walking pad/treadmill by using a YouTube video such as this one by Listening to Earth.

Good to Know

• The practice was pioneered in the 1970s by Canadian composer Hildegard Westerkamp and the World Soundscape Project at Simon Fraser University.

• It doesn’t have to be a walk through nature, it can be just as effective in a busy city.

• Sound walking develops a skill called passive echolocation - listening to how surrounding sounds change as they bounce off buildings for example.

• Your brain often manages to drown out sounds, such as an annoying fridge humming, so this actually trains it to listen to all sounds and not discard any.

• Dawn is said to be the best time for a sound walk - the dawn chorus is perhaps one of the most interesting ways to train your ears on a sound walk.

EIXO MONUMENTAL (MONUMENTAL AXIS) IN BRASILIA IS A FUTURISTIC street with impressive design, so it is no surprise it made number seven on the Daily Telegraph’s world’s best street list. It’s the central and main avenue in Brasilia city, designed by urban planner Lúcio Costa and architect Oscar Niemeyer. It’s massive and runs for just under 10 KM. So, a great way to get your steps in.

As a walk it offers a surreal experience. The first section is known as Ministries Esplanade, surrounded by government palaces, and it then moves onto cathedrals which are far from traditional. It’s suggested you start at the Three Powers Plaza - Praça dos Três Poderes - named for the three government bodies; the Executive, Legislative and Judicial branches. You should then head west past the unique Cathedral of Brasilia and the National Museum, which resembles a UFO - both were designed by Oscar Niemeyer. The finish to this walk is the TV Tower, one of the tallest towers of its kind, which offers an amazing panoramic view of the street. You’ll often find interesting street fairs at its base.

This street offers a total experience and is unlike anything else. If you are lucky enough to be there, you could take one of these organised tours from Get Your Guide. Alternatively if you prefer to do it in your own time, you can choose an audio tour like this one from SmartGuide. As usual, you don’t have to go to Brazil to enjoy this walking tour. You can explore from your walking pad/treadmill with a YouTube tour - Human Walk have a great one.

Good to know:

• Brasilia was designed for cars not people but actually it’s a great city to walk in.

• According to the Guinness Book of Records, it has the widest central reservation of any dual carriageway.

• Avoid the midday sun - the concrete reflects the heat so, early morning or early evening are the best times to walk.

• In 1956, it was a wilderness with no inhabitants, but 1960 it was inaugurated as the new capital, built in record time.

• It’s the only 20th century city to be named a UNESCO world heritage site.

THIS WEEK, I HAVE MOSTLY BEEN FAKING IT. As you may remember, my 1kg weekly weight loss is down to a 1200 calorie count every day, with a one hour walk to burn off 200 of those calories. This means 400 calories each for lunch and dinner.

So what’s on the menu? Air frier required.

Fake Chinese Restaurant

Prawns and Rice: All in the air frier. Four cups of Choy Sum (Bok Choy) 100 calories, with a cup of chopped asparagus (25 calories) and a cup of mushrooms (25 calories), with two cups of prawns (150 calories). Toss the lot in water in a colander, drain and spray with olive oil. Cook for 15 minutes or until you can smell the prawns. Microwave a packet of Shirataki/Konjac Rice (20 calories). Make three tablespoons of garlic, ginger, chilli, oyster sauce to taste (60 calories). Mix. It’s hard to believe this is diet food. About 400 Calories.

Fake French Restaurant

Caesar Salad: Two rashers of lean, air-fried bacon (100 calories) three cups of lettuce (15 calories), one cup of tomatoes (30 calories), two tablespoons chopped onions (10 calories) five drained anchovies (50 calories), one tablespoon parmesan cheese (25 calories), one egg (100 calories), two chopped-up corn thins for croutons (40 calories) four tablespoons of dressing made with garlic, red wine vinegar, salt and pepper, Dijon mustard, Greek yoghurt (or diet vanilla yoghurt) (40 calories) About 400 calories

The difference here is that you’re not glugging on mayonnaise or tons of fried bread. Corn thins give you that crunchy, starchy, carby feeling without calories. The yoghurt may seem too sweet but it actually works, when you mix it with red wine vinegar and mustard. Delish.

Feeding Other People

Just a reminder, if you are feeding other people, put out lots of bread and cheese on the side (with Caesar Salad) and grapes - or an extra big bowl of rice (with anything Asian, ever).

Konjac Noodle/Rice/Pasta Recipes from Slendier

What a goldmine this is. From the ‘miracle calorie’ Slendier brand of Shirataki/Konjac noodles. Annoyingly, Slendier don’t provide a calorie count, but after several weeks of dieting, Fat Cow can still spot a calorie bargain. (Just ignore the recipes where they go insane and tell you to add half a cup of olive oil).

This Week’s Favourite Walk

This week I have mostly been using soundwalks from Chad Crouch, here on Substack. What is a soundwalk? I hear you say. Well, tune in and drop out (but keep walking)

Soundwalk

Snow Lake Soundwalk

We are back at Tahoma / Mount Rainier this week for another soundwalk. These hikes were made in June, 2024, on a weekend father and son getaway. The recordings were edited to focus on the natural soundscape (but you can make out four feet scuffling along the trail at certain points…

Listen now

a month ago · 6 likes · Chad Crouch

Some Observations on Being Thinner

*I am tying knots in the side of my black leggings to keep them up, when I do the housework. They are all size 16.

*Beware the notorious mule kick/donkey kick of flab jabs. If you over-eat, you will get a tummy ache. And a bit of seasickness. There’s a reason why so many people are losing 1kg a week. It’s fear.

Why Do All Fat Cows Have Tattoos?

At least in Before and After photographs? It’s so off-putting.

I mean, this is a great story about a woman who went Fat Cow to Thin Cow, by dieting and walking, but she seems to have celebrated by having a lot of ink up her arm.

Anyway, hats off to her. Her name is Zoe and she walked 10,000 steps a day. In translation for people who don’t do phone apps, that’s 4.5 to 5 miles every day. So, 7 to 8 kilometres. Or 1.5 to 2 hours.

That’s a lot of walking. I know. Then again, she lost a lot of weight. I’m doing an hour a day but I suppose I could double that if I had to. Watching re-runs of Celebrity Traitors.

The photos are from Tik Tok and @fitnesswithzoe and were republished in The Daily Telegraph in Australia, where Zoe lives.

More next week!

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.

RANKED AT NUMBER SIX ON THE TELEGRAPH’S LIST OF BEST STREET WALKS is Zhongshan Road in Shanghai. Often better known as ‘The Bund’ walking this street offers stunning views of colonial-era buildings on one side and futuristic Pudong skyscrapers across the Huangpu River, on the other. While most of Shanghai can seem like a futuristic city made of glass and steel, this stretch of waterfront lets you look deeper in the real and historic city.

The street is about 1.5 km long, and most walkers start from Waibaidu Bridge and head south. The buildings you pass on your right comprise of many different architectures; Gothic, Romanesque, Baroque and Art Deco. They are all grand and once housed the world’s most powerful banks. To the left is the Huangpu River, the biggest river in Shanghai, and a reminder that it’s still the world’s busiest port.

Notable landmarks on the walk are plentiful, but some of the most popular must-sees include the Custom House, a neoclassical landmark, which is a symbol of old Shanghai and is famous for its clock tower - the bell of which was modelled after Big Ben. There are many places to eat and drink and the street is chock full of Shanghai vibrancy. You even get a view of the futuristic Shanghai Tower, which is the world’s second tallest building.

If you are visiting, then you can take a self-guided audio tour such as this one by VoiceMap or an organised tour, from sites such as Get Your Guide. However, if travelling to China isn’t on your agenda, you can still enjoy the atmosphere of Shanghai from your walking pad/treadmill with YouTube videos such as this one, by 4K World Wanderings.

Good To Know

• The road is named in honour of Sun Yat-sen, whose Mandarin name was Sun Zhongshan. He was the leader of the Nationalist Party and known as the father of modern China.

• The elevated promenade wasn't just built for tourists—it's a mile-long flood-control wall. In the 1970s and 80s, this wall became the city’s most romantic spot, it even has the nickname ‘The Lovers' Wall.’

• At the southern end of the walk, you’ll find the Bund Bull, a massive bronze sculpture designed by Arturo Di Modica -the same artist who created the Charging Bull on Wall Street.

• As mentioned the Custom House features a clock tower known as ‘Big Ching’, and the mechanism and bells were made in England using the same blueprint as Big Ben. For decades it was the official time for the entire city.

• Because Shanghai was built on soft, muddy soil, the heavy stone buildings of Zhongshan Road have been slowly sinking for a century. To combat this, the city has implemented massive engineering projects.

WHAT IF YOU COULD RAISE YOUR METABOLISM WITHOUT high-intensity workouts or having to do CrossFit? According this 2026 study by National Library of Medicine, the best way to overhaul your metabolism is simply to take a walk!

We’ve long known walking is good for health and weight loss - that is why we write this Substack - but now we also know that a simple stroll can act as a chemical lever for your metabolic rate.

Science has concluded that your metabolism, the Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE), is not driven by killing ourselves in a gym session, but by NEAT - Non Exercise Activity Thermogenesis. And walking is the king of NEAT. Basically, by increasing your daily movement consistently, you are signalling to your body that it needs to keep its ‘idling speed’ high. Your idling speed is your body's baseline calorie burn, which keeps your heart beating and organs functioning even when you aren't moving at all. Unlike a run which might leave you needing to lie down for the rest of the day, walking keeps your metabolic fire stoked and doesn’t trigger exhaustion. Great news!

Another find is that the biggest metabolic hurdle for most people is insulin resistance. This resistance causes your cells to stop burning fuel efficiently, instead storing it as fat. However, studies show that walking - especially short, frequent bouts of walking - can act like a glucose sponge. Thus, walking, which engages the large muscles in your legs, results in a more effective metabolism.

A further benefit of walking is that high-intensity cardio can spike cortisol (the stress hormone). If your cortisol is high, your body clings to belly fat for dear life. However, walking lowers cortisol while burning calories. You are essentially fooling your body into burning fuel while it thinks it’s relaxing.

There are many YouTube videos you can watch which explains why walking is so good for your metabolism, such as this one by Thomas DeLauer.

Good To Know

• A 10 minute walk after your largest meal can reduce the glucose spike of the food by up to 22%. It’s the most efficient metabolic hack.

• If you’re at home, walk on an incline, or outside on different terrain to engage more muscles which leads to a higher metabolic demand.

• It’s said that for the metabolism the best pace is a pace where you can talk but you’d rather not! It keeps you in zone 2, which helps with burning fat.

• Walking helps you work with your metabolism not against it, which means it will start to function more efficiently.

• If you want help, there are YouTube videos, such as this one by Olivia Lawson which gives you the walking workouts from home.

Blow the diet, but double the walk

THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT COMPLIMENTS ON MY weight loss, which has made me slack off. Does this happen to you? You shed 10 kilograms and well-meaning friends tell you that you look great. Then you go out to dinner with them and have what they’re having. Five squillion calories. Bread, pudding, the lot.

This week Fat Cow Slim blew the 1200 daily calorie diet for three glorious days. An insanely good Japanese restaurant. A lot of wine time. A ‘what the hell’ fridge-seeking moment at midnight. One kilo came back on. It’s so unfair.

Normally this would mean losing the plot completely. No more Corn Thins. No more Konjac noodles. To hell with it all!

Fortunately, I have made it so far (10kg down) that I can’t ruin it now.

One way through the extra kilogram, is to double the walk.

Instead of doing one hour a day, do two hours. Even three hours.

Sneaky but useful.

I like to call it ‘Keep Cow and Carry On’.

Something else you can do: swerve to really low-calorie food for the next week. Here’s an idea.

Cunning ways to lose 10 kg (20 pounds)

My entire problem (while my skirt size was going up 14, 16, 18) was love of restaurants. Also wine. I haven’t given up the wine (it’s only 100 calories a glass, goddammit) but my cunning way to lose weight includes faking restaurant food. This is a Vietnamese restaurant staple, but the trick is swapping beef for prawns – and also using the miracle noodles known as Konjac.

Low, Low Calorie Pho

The full recipe is here. This is Fat Cow’s adaptation. One cup of beef or chicken stock, a thumb of ginger (grated), half a chopped up onion, one grated garlic clove, two star anise, one cinnamon stick, one tablespoon of fake sugar (Stevia or Monkfruit), 2-3 tablespoons fish sauce, a packet of Konjac noodles, one cup of prawns, half a cup of bean sprouts, half a red chilli chopped, half a cup of Thai basil leaves and half a cup of coriander. I also add the juice of half a lime, but please yourself/squeeze yourself.

This is well under 300 calories for lunch or dinner.

Other Low Calorie SOS Food

Choy Sum (Bok Choy) or Chinese spinach is delicious in restaurants, served with rice as a side dish for pork or duck.

Have it without the pork or duck and use Konjac rice. Fake vegetable rice. A dash of oyster sauce, ginger, garlic and chilli and you’re coming close to a Chinatown experience, but under 100 calories.

You can have a truckload of Choy Sum and not feel deprived. To your wok, you must go. Chop, chop.

Ken Hom’s Vegetable Stir Fry

Here’s another one. Ken goes big on the oil. You’ll just be giving the wok a quick spray. Fat Cow’s tip is to mix sesame oil and water in a spray bottle and use that. Otherwise a quick blast with coconut or olive oil will give you far less calories.

This Week’s Favourite Walk

A soundwalk in Switzerland transported me.

A new Celebrity Traitors is also coming in a few months with Richard E. Grant and Miranda Hart. What a fantastic way to pound the walk pad, that’s going to be. See you next week.

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.

WALKING THIS ELEGANT BOULEVARD - RECENTLY HIGHLIGHTED AS number 6 in newspaper The Telegraphs’s essential street walks— allows you to immerse yourself in the drama of Buenos Aires. Avenida de Mayo was modelled on Paris and Madrid to keep the city’s elite happy, and is a 1.5 kilometer stretch opened in 1894. They imported architects from Italy, marble from Carrara, and the result was a definitive sense of the grand.

As you walk from the Plaza de Mayo - the city’s historic square - toward the Congress Square - which was designed by the French landscape architect Carlos Thays - you are flanked by some of the most beautiful architecture in the world. You will find both Art Nouveau and NeoClassical. If you look up you’ll see ornate balconies and iron work so delicate it almost looks like lace.

The highlight of the walk is The Palacio Barolo, a building inspired by Dante’s Divine Comedy. Designed by Mario Palanti, the building is divided into Hell, Purgatory and Heaven. It’s magnificent and you can book tours, which is highly advisable.

Although perfect for walking, the street is also the birthplace of the Buenos Aires ‘literary cafe’ culture. A must stop is Café Tortoni. Founded in 1858, it is the oldest coffee house in the city. You enter a world of stained glass, dark wood, and it is said, the ghost of Jorge Luis Borges.

It is truly cultural, it was a centre for intellectual life in the early 20th century. It also continues to host major celebrations, cultural events and political demonstrations. And if you can’t visit yourself, there are a number of YouTube walks to enjoy, such as this one by 4K Walks.

Good To know

• Ave. de Mayo was historically the hub for Spanish immigrants. You’ll find more traditional cider houses (churrerías) and theatres showing Spanish operettas here than anywhere else in the city.

• Beneath your feet runs the oldest subway line in the Southern Hemisphere - opened in 1913. Until recently, it still used its original 1913 wooden carriages. You can still see the beautifully preserved stations at Plaza de Mayo and Perú.

• The Boulevard is named after the May Revolution of 1810, which led to Argentina’s independence from Spain.

• As mentioned, the Palacio Barolo (Avenida de Mayo 1370) has exactly 100 meters of height, matching the 100 cantos of the Divine Comedy.

• 9 de Julio Avenue is often cited as the widest street in the world. Crossing it in one “green light” is the ultimate local achievement—usually, it takes at least two tries - and maybe a good opportunity to try your ‘vigorous’ walking.

ABOUT ONE TABLESPOON OF BEST OF THE BONE, Bone Broth is 25 calories. Fat Cow has been on a bone binge all week and after a plateau (zero weight loss) last week has got down to 74 kg. All hail the daily one hour walk too.

Why did nobody tell me about bone broth?

Borough Broth, Freja and the British Broth Company are just three contenders for creamy, beefy or chicken-ish soup base.

Oodles of protein and collagen and (even) delicious by itself if you are in a hurry.

Here’s a quick recipe if you want something filling for supper. It’s only about 200 calories so you can have a glass of red wine and a nice chocolate 90 calorie yoghurt.

Fat Cow Soup

You can use it to make tomato soup, chicken noodle soup and pho. Any old soup. Just fake croutons with a crumbled corn thin (about 20 calories) and Konjac noodles (a packet is also about 20 calories).

This Week’s Favourite Walk

I went into the real world and took some ‘awe walks’ this week. You can leave your headphones at home for these.

The Size 12 Skirt Victory

It’s worth hunting around for labels and brands that give you a size 12 skirt result. I am still sadly disappointed by Marks and Spencer, but this week I got into a size 12 black pencil skirt and a denim skirt from other brands. Without pain from sucking my stomach in. No pants of steel, required. There is a lot to be said for the psychological boost of seeing 12 on the label. I also tried it with jeans. Talk about shopping around. But it was worth it.

The Vietnamese Restaurant Wow Dishes

Vietnamese stir-fried vegetables and coleslaw sounds pretty horrible until you turn up at a restaurant with a good cook in the kitchen and eat the entire two dishes. And ask for a plastic container to take the rest home. This week’s date lunch was with an artist who knew a good local Vietnamese.

Chef Neil Perry has a version you can de-calorie by using Stevia not sugar, below and skipping the fried shallots.

1 carrot, julienned
200g shredded cabbage
1 small red onion, cut into thin rings
40g fragrant mixed herbs, such as Vietnamese mint, mint and coriander
1½ tablespoons crispy fried shallots, plus 2 teaspoons to serve
1½ tablespoons crushed roasted unsalted peanuts, plus 2 teaspoons to serve

Nuoc cham dressing

2 long fresh red chillies, finely chopped
1 garlic clove, finely chopped
1 tablespoon caster (superfine) sugar
60ml fish sauce
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons lime juice

Chicken (one drumstick is about 100 calories). Or try a cup of prawns, about 150 calories).

See the recipe here.

That’s it for this week. Four months in!

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.

WE ALL KNOW THAT EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH. We’ve heard it time and time again. But according to a recent CNN report on a study from the UK Biobank, we might be underselling just how powerful it really is.

The headline is just one type of exercise—vigorous physical activity—can significantly cut the risk of developing no fewer than eight major chronic diseases. We might think of ‘vigorous’ and shudder - does it mean running, jumping, or other high intensity exercise? Well yes, but the good news is that also you can walk your way to health. Which is our exercise of choice.

The study, which tracked nearly 100,000 people using wearable technology, found that individuals who incorporated just a small amount of high-intensity movement into their day saw life-altering results. We aren’t talking about hours at the gym; we’re talking about roughly 4% of your total daily activity being counted as ‘vigorous.’

The study says the payoff is a staggering 63% lower risk of dementia and a 60% lower risk of type 2 diabetes. It also showed significant protection against, heart disease, stroke, liver disease, depression, kidney disfunction and risk of premature death. It’s really quite astounding.

So, let’s look at ways for us to level-up walking, to make it count. By vigorous many agree it’s hitting the point where you are huffing enough so you can’t easily carry on a conversation. So, not just a stroll in the park, although that is valid too. Basically, your primary tool for the prevention of disease is literally attached to your hips.

How to Turn Your Walk into a “Disease-Fighter”

If you want to move from ‘leisurely stroll’ to the ‘vigorous’ zone that protects against those eight diseases, try these three modern tweaks:

• The Japanese Walk: Walk at your normal pace for two minutes, then walk as fast as you possibly can (power-walk style) for 30 seconds. We suggest walking this way for 30 minutes.

• The Urban Hike: Don’t avoid the hills. Find the incline in your neighbourhood. Climbing stairs or a steep street for just two minutes a day counts.

• Use your primal instinct. Imagine you’re late for a train. That slightly panicked, high-energy stride is exactly the intensity you need.

The science is becoming clearer every year: our bodies aren’t built for the sedentary desk-bound life. By simply picking up the pace on our daily walks, we aren’t just getting from A to B - we could be walking away from eight of the biggest health threats of the modern age.

Good to Know:

• It is said that to prevent disease you don’t need 10,000 steps a day, 6-7,000 is the sweet spot.

• Make sure you take time for some ‘vigorous’ walking within your day. You might go for a stroll but speed up at intervals; incorporate it into your normal daily routine.

• Walking for just 2 to 5 minutes shortly after eating can significantly lower blood sugar levels. This light activity helps the muscles soak up glucose, preventing the "insulin spikes" that contribute to Type 2 diabetes.

• Walking increases the production of a protein called BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor). It helps repair failing brain cells and grow new ones in the hippocampus—the area responsible for memory. This is why regular brisk walking is linked to a 63% reduction in dementia risk.

• Studies show that people who hit their target activity levels in just one or two sessions over the weekend (the ‘Weekend Warriors’) receive almost the same cardiovascular disease-fighting benefits as those who spread it out across the week. If life is too busy for a Monday-to-Friday routine, those long Saturday walks are still doing the heavy lifting for your health.

RANKED AT NO. 5 ON THE TELEGRAPH’S LIST OF THE WORLD’S best street walks is Stroget, a 1.1 kilometer stretch in Copenhagen. It’s a shopping haven, and one of Europe’s biggest pedestrian only areas. So, it’s perfect for walking - without having to dodge traffic. It’s so popular that it enjoys over 80,000 daily visitors in the summer.

Stroget is surrounded by historic sites, including Tivoli Gardens and Christiansborg Palace. It is known for its lively atmosphere, featuring cafes, shopping, restaurants and street entertainers.

Connecting the grand City Hall Square (Rådhuspladsen) to the regal King’s New Square (Kongens Nytorv), Stroget isn’t actually one single street. It’s a collection of streets including Frederiksberggade, Vimmelskaftet, and Ostergade. You’ll find specific ‘Copenhagen energy’ here—a blend of high-end Nordic design and medieval history. Think expensive designer stores, mixed with the €4 hotdog (polse) and because of the coolness of Stroget, it makes perfect sense. There is much to lose yourself in here, including Amagertorv with iconic landmark Stork Fountain, where you’ll find magicians, jazz bands and acrobats. There’s so many shops such as the famous store Illums Bolighus which offers over 400 Danish brands under one roof.

It’s a high energy street, a shopping and eating haven, but it also offers history and an opportunity to immerse yourself in Danish culture. If you aren’t in Denmark, you can enjoy this unique walk from home on your walking pad/treadmill with YouTube videos such as by Cerita dari Denmark.

Good To Know

• When Stroget was pedestrianised in 1962, it wasn’t universally welcomed. People were worried that it would harm business, however today it’s a blueprint for cities like New York and Melbourne.

• You won’t find a street sign reading Stroget. In fact, it’s a nickname meaning “the stretch.”

• In 1967, to celebrate Copenhagen’s 800th anniversary, the city set up a coffee table that ran the entire 1.1km length of the street. It still holds the record for the world’s longest coffee table.

• At the Stork Fountain in Amagertorv, it is a long-standing tradition for newly graduated midwives to dance around the fountain.

• While the shop windows are gorgeous, the architecture above eye level tells the real story. The oldest building on the walk dates back to 1616 (found at Amagertorv 6). It survived the Great Fires of Copenhagen.

FULLY EXPECTING TO SEE 74 KG ON THE ELECTRONIC SCALES this morning, Fat Cow saw 75 kg. Same as last week. Attempting different feet placements like Margot Fonteyn doing Second Position, then Fourth Position, made no difference.

Yes, I have gone from obese to overweight on the BMI scale. But I’m still overweight.

Worse still, all the medical websites on the internet now tells me I need to be 68kg, not the 70kg I believed was true in January.

I’ve failed to lose 1kg and now I need to lose even more. It’s going to be another 7 bloody weeks!

Wear Three Jumpers Like a Jockey?

Google says you can drop 1kg in a day. ‘But it’s mostly water.’ I don’t care. ‘Muscle loss.’ I still don’t care.

Jockeys do it by sweating it off. They wrap themselves in plastic cling-film and put on three jumpers and a big coat.

This brings in the question of a sweaty, uphill walk in several tracksuits at once. Can it be done? Would it work? No, unfortunately, not with Uncle Alan dragging behind me.

Uncle Alan the Slow-Moving Dog

Uncle Alan is an old labrador I foolishly agreed to look after last week. I have one more week left with him.

He is extremely slow moving and I blame him for my failure to lose 1kg as planned.

He was owned by (my friend’s) own Uncle Alan, hence the name. I just call him Alan. He sniffs every building corner for several minutes. He inhales it. Actually.

Alan refuses to go up hills. He ambles along with his hips swinging like Marilyn Monroe. He has what I call Rehearsal Peeing. He gets ready to pee. He lifts his leg. He becomes confused. He puts it down again. With one more week of Alan to go, there is no way I am going to sweat off that extra 1kg. I reckon he rehearses peeing about 10,000 times on every walk.

Fat Cow’s Hot 100 Chart

I wonder if I can drop 2kg by next week? That requires 800 calories a day, not my 1200. If I also get on the walk pad without Uncle Alan for an extra hour a day sweating furiously, it’s possible.

This is my Hot 100 Chart. Things around 100 calories that are nice and not kale and chickpeas.

Tomato Corn Thins

Four Corn Thins is about 80 calories. One tomato is about 20 calories. Slice thinly, add salt and pepper.

Fake Banana Split

A banana with a good squirt of low-calorie/diet yoghurt and another squirt of zero sugar topping. About 100 calories.

Garlic Parmesan Noodles

Konjac Noodles – 20 calories
Olive Oil Spray to fry noodles in the Air Frier – Sod All Calories*
Garlic – Sod All Calories.
Chicken Broth – One teaspoon from the jar mixed with boiling water - 10 calories.
One Grated Parmesan tablespoon - 20 calories

You can multiply this by four (lots of noodles) and have 100 calories. Loads of food.

A Dozen Oysters

One dozen oysters is 96 calories. With lemon (Sod All Calories).

Two Cups of Cantaloupe Melon and Cinnamon

Cubed, with cinnamon sprinkled on top and Stevia (fake sugar) – around 100 calories.

Choy Sum (Bok Choy) and Oyster Sauce

The side dish in Chinese restaurants becomes your main dish. Sprinkle the Choy Sum, also known as Bok Choy, with water and microwave it for three or four minutes. Add a tablespoon of Oyster Sauce. A cup of Choy Sum or Bok Choy (basically Chinese cabbage) is about 10 calories. A tablespoon of Oyster Sauce is about 10 calories. Grate on garlic and chop up chilli to go with it if you like. These are Sod All Calories. Again, if you want to stuff yourself, you can multiply this by 9 or 10. Though admittedly you would explode with green matter all over the kitchen walls.

About That Food Noise

I’ve been on Wegovy injections since January. You will hear that people on flab jabs lose the food noise (the regular thinking about food and drink that makes you fat. And a money-making machine for supermarket, alcohol and fast-food corporations).

Is there any science behind food noise?

Have we been given supermarket food and fast food, designed to addict rats, for example?

This is an old Guardian story but a good one. Poor old rats would rather put up with electric shocks on their little feet, than go without sugary or fatty food.

Flab jabs stopped my food noise. But before then, yes, I would have happily had electric shocks on my feet if I could scarf down a whole packet of chocolate biscuits with that magic fat/sweet/salt flavour those rats research in the laboratory.

This Week’s Walk

Without slobbering Uncle Alan. Wish me luck. I’m going to walk Registan on The Silk Road. For the next 7 weeks, even.

*Sod All Calories is Fat Cow’s way of saying ‘Not many.’

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.

REGISTAN IN SAMARKAND, UZBEKISTAN WAS RECENTLY NAMED THE #4 best street walk in the world by The Telegraph. This is so much more than just a walk - it’s almost like time travel. Registan (in Central Asia) was the heart of Silk Road, a crucial 17th century trade road, where camels laden with spices, textiles and gems brought wealth to desert cities. Today, it’s the ultimate pedestrian experience, offering blue skies and blue stone. You can full immerse yourself in this stunning experience either in real time - there are many guided walking tours - or virtually from your walking pad /treadmill.

The walk is U-shaped, which takes you through three madrasas (Islamic colleges), that frame the square. Each represents a different eara of the Timurid Renaissance.

• Ulurgh Beg Madrasah (The West), this was built in 1420 by astronomer- king Ulugh Beg - thus the portal is covered in stars.

• Sher-Dor Madrasah (The East) - famous for it’s ‘Lion’ mosaics (which look more like tigers), this was built 2 centuries later.

• Tilla-Kari Madrasah (The Centre). This is the gold-covered school.

It is essentially a square but if you walk it properly, start at the Bibi-Khanym Mosque, journey though the Siyob Bazaar, and then follow the pedestrianised Tashkent Road, which takes you into the heart of Registan. It’s a peaceful and somewhat spiritual walk which will take you back through history to the time when Samarkand was the centre of the known world!

If you are walking virtually, try this tour by Uzbek Garden

Good To know

• The best time to visit is just before sunset. The way the setting suns hits the tiles is truly stunning.

• On the façade of the Sher-Dor Madrasah, you’ll see two massive mosaics of striped cats chasing deer under a rising sun. This is an act of religious defiance - traditional Islamic art forbids the depiction of living beings. Yet, the 17th-century ruler Yalangtush Bakhodur had them included to symbolise his power.

• If you have remaining energy, ask about climbing one of the minarets for an amazing view of the city. It is narrow, steep and so if you are claustrophobic, you might want to avoid.

• Walking around, you will notice some minarets are not straight; a few are tilted, with the right-hand minaret of the Ulugh Beg Madrassah having a pronounced, "Tower of Pisa" style lean.

• Today, many of the former classrooms have been turned into gorgeous souvenir shops, so carve out extra time for shopping.

HOW HAS FAT COW LOST 10KG (ABOUT 20 POUNDS) SINCE JANUARY, by eating lamb, drinking red wine and eating fake chocolate cake for afternoon tea? How has she gone from 85 kg to 75 kg and actually enjoyed it?

The answer is (the expensive) flab jab known as Wegovy.

The BBC think I’ll put it all on again, when I stop. The BBC says flab jabbers pile the weight on again, four times faster than non jabbers.

I know I won’t. Why? New habits. Not Atomic Habits, but new habits. Also, size 12 pants and cheekbones. If you think I’m giving up on that, BBC, you can think again.

To celebrate getting down to 75kg from 85kg, I almost put two candles on a Fibre One Chocolate Fudge Cake.

Here are some things I now realise I’ll do for life -

1. Walking one hour a day, inside or outside, having fun binge-watching Ludwig, or Curb Your Enthusiasm, or virtually walking around stunning cities it’s too expensive to fly to. Walking has given me great legs again. The kind of legs I used to have at school when I played netball and spent a lot of time running away from the hairy Goal Attack, Denise Sutton.

2. My new kitchen is full of fakes. Fibre One fake cakes for elevenses and Fibre One fake cakes for afternoon tea. Both 90 calories. Lemon Drizzle Squares and Chocolate Fudge Brownies make it easy to lose weight. It’s like flying long haul, first class and being given little treats to keep you going.

3. More kitchen conversions! Corn Thins (about 20 calories) not bread, ever again. No more butter, margarine or bottles of oil in the house, either. Spray-on olive oil will do. Konjac noodles (also known as Shirataki noodles) which are also around 20 calories - now rule my kitchen. No more ice-cream either (diet banoffee, chocolate or strawberry yoghurt – around 90 calories). No more milk – Almond Milk instead. Fat cow will eat real food in restaurants in future and that’s it. Your own home kitchen is your primary weapon.

This Week’s Walk

This week’s walk of the moment was around London’s most famous theatres. But from home. With the heater and headphones on.

Great Calorie Bargains

The great British pear shape (size 16-18) was built that way on spaghetti, ice-cream, wine and chocolate. We don’t lose it by suddenly eating chickpeas and kale like deranged nutritionists or having those smoothies they all seem obsessed by.

We lose our size 16-18 trousers, and go down to size 12 (maybe even 10, I’m hoping) by finding great calorie bargains which are a lot like our old life. So -

Skinny Whip Double Chocolate Nougat Bar 80 calories – good for elevenses.

Tesco Calorie Controlled Spaghetti Carbonara – a 400 calories microwave no-brainer.

Fibre One Chocolate Fudge Cake – 90 calories – also good for elevenses.

GetPRO Strawberry High Protein 160g Yoghurt – 88 calories. Easy pudding.

Tip: Tesco is the best low calorie supermarket I’ve found.

Do What You Used To Do

Doing what I used to do, when I had a nice (non-dieting, non-exercising life) has made it possible to rapidly lose 10kg or around 20 pounds. Instant gratification really works when you diet. And all fat cows are into that. It’s how we got fat.

The nice old life, adapted for weight loss, means binge-watching television (but walking at the same time) and having breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner too.

Of course I’ve been eating boring old fruit and vegetables. Tomatoes in Fake Spaghetti Marinara and strawberries. I’m not exactly going to die of malnutrition.

Just Say No To Silverbeet Pies

Roasted pumpkin and mushroom lasagna? Silverbeet pies with filo chia topping?

Forget it. I haven’t got the time to faff around with all the shopping and cooking. And I don’t even know what chia is.

One of the very easiest dinner tricks is to bung three chicken drumsticks in the air-frier. 100 calories each, golden brown.

That air-frier on sale has been one of the biggest bargains of my dieting life. It’s like putting socks in a drawer, then shutting it.

Fast Luxury Breakfast for Lazy Cows

It’s not The Dorchester trolley wheeled to your suite, but it’s okay. Here is a fast luxury breakfast in bed for Fat Cows.

One packet of Tesco Smoked Salmon 100g, cut in half with scissors, on one Corn Thin, with one microwaved poached egg, comes in at around 200 calories and takes four minutes.

As always, have with a big pot of English Breakfast tea (tea doesn’t count. It’s S.A. Calories or Sod All Calories).

Catering for Partners, Family, Friends

I had a lot of people to feed last week. The key is side dishes. Chicken drumsticks for everybody in the sock-drawer air-frier – with big bowls of mashed potato, butter, peas, onions and vats of gravy for them. (They also scarf it down so there’s no leftovers to tempt you). I also wheel out the bread and butter and hurl cheese at them, with grapes, to finish. Again, there’s nothing left. The miracle of Wegovy means, I might pick at a few grapes. Oh, and I have two glasses of red but they finish the bottle.

Onwards to the last five kilograms. See you next week.

The Weekend Walk Show pays US $100 for every column on weight loss and walking.